Dating 101: You Will Survive!

Some are just more fortunate in the dating scene than others. Well, good for them. Hahaha! But for a lot of people, dating is a battle field. We get hurt, we shed buckets of tears and we often wonder if we'll ever have our own happily ever after. To those who have asked the question, "when will it be my turn?", I testify that there is hope! The waiting may be long and challenging, but you shouldn't feel helpless. Besides, the best things in life are never rushed.

Allow me to share with you five things I learned on how to survive the "waiting" period and truly enjoy being single.

1. All you need is LOVE.
And who said that it should come from someone else? That love must come from within. This may be hard to believe for people who know me, but I grew up a very insecure kid and it was hard. I felt ugly and I was not comfortable in my own skin. I struggled and it was affecting my relationship with other people. So how did I get through it? I decided to invest in myself. I knew that I will never be able to truly love someone if I didn't even have enough love for me. So I did things that helped increase my self worth. Aside from increasing my spirituality through prayer, studying the scriptures, and going to the temple, I did things that made me feel good about myself. I exercised, went outdoors, read good books, got a haircut, had my nails done, ate at a nice restaurant, etc. The point is, I spent time with the person who needed it most... ME.

2. Take time to SERVE.
I once had a conversation with my sister about my worries and struggles of being single. I was going on and on about how it was so hard to meet new people, liking someone who doesn't like me, not being invited on dates, blah blah blah... Her response, though very short,  was what I needed to hear at that very moment. She said, "Kar, the world does not revolve around you." She then explained that if I want to forget about my worries, I should focus on other people. Serving those who had to face greater challenges than I did made me realize that my worries were so superficial.

3. Go out and EXPLORE.
You can't be like Sleeping Beauty who waited for her Prince to find her. Go out. Invite your other single friends to try new things with you. My Nanay once told me, "Travel and gain experiences while you're single. It's a lot harder to plan a trip when you have kids." I took that advice to heart. My mother is not saying that you can't travel when you're married. It's just a lot easier to do it when you're single. And while you're at it, meet new people.

4. Dare to be UNCOMFORTABLE.
People say that we grow the most when we live outside our comfort zones. I definitely agree. Some of my greatest learning experiences happened when I was living on my own. It helped me learn basic survival skills like budgeting, cooking for myself, mastering domestic duties, etc. Also, it provided me with the opportunity to live in different places. It helped me understand cultural differences and the uniqueness of every individual.

5. ACCEPT the reality.
"If I never get married, will I still be happy?" I've asked myself this question many times and the answer was not always pleasant. I had to teach myself that I can be and should be happy regardless of my relationship status. I don't think acceptance comes easy, but it's something we strive for. Just remember the advice Sister Oaks received from her priesthood leader:

If you cannot bear the difficulties and challenges of single life, you will never be able to bear the challenges and difficulties of married life.