Dating 102: Diskarte Mode

In my post Dating 101: You Will Survive, I shared some of the things I learned on how to gain happiness from within. That, for me, is the first step to surviving the dating scene. However, it doesn't mean that after you have gained inner happiness you can just give up on dating altogether. Woe unto you who do not try, for you will be judged according to your works! Hahaha!

Dating is a battle field. It is important to be wise and strategic. Especially for us women. We need to provide opportunities for men to notice us. I think that is what people mean when they say that you have to make yourself available. How exactly do you do that? The following list may give you some idea.

Avoid FLOCKS.
Before I went to BYUH, my sister-in-law specifically advised me to avoid being surrounded with friends all the time. So true! Just imagine... How can a guy possibly ask you out if you always have an army of girlfriends with you? You need some alone time once in a while.

• Go to the library (or institute) alone and pick a seat that can be seen from the entrance/window. Friends usually stop by to say hi when they see you. They may even have other friends with them and it's the perfect opportunity to be introduced to someone new.
• Go to church or an activity a bit early. This is very effective because people approach you when they come in. If you're lucky, it can be someone you've been wanting to talk to for a long time. Maybe your cute home teacher or the new guy who moved into the ward.
• During an activity, go to the food table when you spot someone you want to talk to. Make some small talk about the food and linger a bit longer to lengthen the conversation.

Ninja Moves: STEALTH Mode

Once upon a time, there was this guy in my ward who I really liked but I never get the chance to talk to alone. We were good friends and we texted but we were always surrounded with other people when we go to activities and stuff. In short, I needed a plan so that we can spend some time together on our own. The perfect opportunity came when I had to organize a club activity one weekend. I needed help buying drinks for the event and I decided to ask him to help me out. I could have asked my girl friends, but it would have ruined the perfect opportunity! So, I texted him instead and said that I needed his help carrying the groceries because it was too heavy for me to carry. He was more than willing to help and we accomplished all my errands that day. The best part was that I got to spend time with him alone and we were able to talk about a lot of things as we walked home. The moral of this story: Recognize opportunities and use that to your advantage.

Use your CONNECTIONS.

It's not what you know, but who you know. Use those resources. Good thing Facebook has this "Mutual Friends" feature that allows you to utilize those connections.

• Ask your friend to be your wing man. If she knows someone you are interested in, ask her to introduce you and set up a group activity together. When I was in BYUH, I had a friend who was interested in someone from my ward. The good thing was that I knew the guy and we were well acquainted. I told him that I was planning an activity with friends and asked if he wanted to join us. It was the perfect set up. They were introduced and we all had fun.
• Go to a friend's ward activity. Yes, it's an awkward situation because you don't know anyone, but that's exactly the point! It means that your network has just expanded to the nth power. Remember: If you keep on hanging out with the same people, nothing's going to happen there. You can't force attraction where it does not exist.
• Get close with your married friends. They will most definitely have companions, cousins, friends, etc. who want to go out on dates. Make sure to let your friends know that you are open for referrals. When you put it out there, their brains usually start filtering names that they feel will be a good match for you. It's automatic, they can't help themselves. Hehehe! And because they're married, they are not your competition. They are your best allies. 

The Pick-up LINES.
"Uy brother, you look familiar" says my friend to a guy she doesn't even know. Hahaha! It sounds a bit cheesy, but she owns that line and it works as a great conversation starter.

Dating is all about knowing how to communicate and the hardest part is usually how to get started. The same old "kamusta ka?" doesn't work anymore because it just ends after "OK lang ako." You need to use your wits and be creative!

• "Uy kilala mo pala si _____?" The perfect line to someone you have mutual friends with. Feeling close agad.
• "You served in _____? I've been there." Although in reality you just passed by the place and didn't even bother getting off the bus at the station. Hahaha!
• "I didn't know you liked ______. Gusto ko din yun! (and gusto din kita)" Hahaha! You get the idea... Just be creative and have fun with it. 

Not so subtle INVITATIONS.

Who says girls can't ask guys out? You certainly can, but you have to do it with style. You need to make him think that it was their idea in the first place. (wink wink)

Me: Marunong ka pala mag-pusoy dos? Magaling ang roommate ko.
Boylet: Talaga? Saan siya natuto?
Me: Tinuruan lang din siya ng friends niya. Tinuruan niya ako pero hindi ko pa masyadong alam. Mag-pusoy dos tournament kaya tayo?
Boylet: Cge, kelan?
Me: Ask ko roommate ko tapos text kita. (Kaching! Panalo na agad ako. 2nd date secured.)

* Yes, we play face cards. Don't judge.

In this dog-eat-dog world of dating, we need to be smart and strategic. In the words of Elder Carlos Godoy, "If we continue to live as we are living, will the promised blessings be fulfilled?" Sisters, you have to realize that you are in control of your dating experiences as much as any other aspect of your life.