Dating Insights from the Scriptures

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I believe that the scriptures can help us find answers to questions we have in life, including dating. In my study of the scriptures, I found 5 examples that illustrate my expectation from men and dating in general.

Note: These are my personal thoughts and are not to be taken as Church doctrine. 

1. Make the first move. Doctrine and Covenants 88:63
This revelation was given to the Prophet Joseph Smith in December 1832 at Kirtland, Ohio. This verse teaches us that when we draw near to the Savior He will draw near unto us. The Lord expects us to make the first move.

Likewise, women expect men to make the first move. Though there are women who are confident in initiating the first interaction, that’s not very common. Most women, dalagang Filipina as we are, still appreciate a little effort from the men. If she likes you, she’ll respond favorably.

Example of favorable responses: (These are very general and may not be true to all women.)
  • She texts you back and her responses are thorough/engaging. She doesn’t want to end the conversation so she asks questions to keep it going.
  • She’s not in a hurry when she’s talking to you. In fact, she lingers a bit longer even though she is a bit pressed for time.
  • She smiles a lot when you give her a compliment. She enjoys it because your opinion matters to her. She will most likely give you a compliment in return.

In contrary, if she does not respond after you have made several attempts, there is only one thing left to do…MOVE ON!

2. Go the extra mile. 1 Nephi 7: 1, 3-4
After Nephi and his brethren obtained the gold plates, they were again commanded by the Lord to bring Ishmael and his family to the wilderness so that they can take the daughters of Ishmael to wife.  How did Nephi and his brethren respond?  They “went up unto the house of Ishmael.”

When going on a date, a woman appreciates a man who picks her up and accompanies her home. In other circumstances, she may be willing to meet you halfway and will agree to meet somewhere else. Otherwise, always offer to pick her up. Women are not helpless; they just like those who are willing to go the extra mile.

3. Choose to be confident. 2 Nephi 2: 26
Say, you met an interesting girl and you want to ask her out but she kind of makes you feel a bit intimidated. She’s smart, graduated from a prestigious school, served a full-time mission, and has a high paying job. You want to get to know her more but you just feel like she’s out of your league. Well, here’s a thought: Being intimidated is a choice.

In 2 Nephi 2: 26, Lehi teaches that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ mankind has been redeemed from the fall. “They have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and NOT TO BE ACTED UPON.”

How you feel is your choice. Have some confidence.  You are so much more than what you give yourself credit for. Women like men who are confident.

4. Express thoughts clearly. 1 Corinthians 14:9
Ever had a woman ask you, “ano ba talaga tayo?” (Where is this relationship going?) That’s because most women need a verbal assurance of your feelings and your intentions. State your purpose and make sure she understands every word.

In Corinthians 14, Paul exhorts the saints to “desire spiritual gifts,” especially the gift of prophecy for the edification of the church. Likewise, every budding relationship needs edification. Verse 9 states: “… except ye utter by the tongue words easy to understand, how shall it be known what is spoken? for ye shall speak into the air.”

Women need to hear how you feel. Express it clearly.

5. Make time for dating. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens.” I believe that we can always find time for dating. If finding your eternal companion is your priority, what are you doing now to make that happen? In the recently concluded General Conference, Elder Carlos A. Godoy asked, “If we continue to live as we are living, will the promised blessings be fulfilled?”

To all my single friends out there, I echo the words of the Prophet Joseph Smith in D&C 123: 17 “let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”  Let us do what we can in pursuit of our happily ever after. I know the Lord’s promises are sure and He will lead us to our eternal goal.

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