Tender Musings

Barney was my babysitter. I am not proud of it. In fact, I feel horrible for letting Rei watch Youtube videos at a very young age.  "The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends keeping all screens off around babies and toddlers younger than 18 months. They say a little screen time can be okay for older toddlers, and children 2 and older should get no more than an hour of screen time per day." Read more . I thought that as a stay-at-home mom I would be able to care for my daughter all day and not have to rely on gadgets for entertainment. Well, it's a lot harder than I thought. Contrary to my ideals, I have relied on Barney in many occasions to keep Rei busy so I can finish my chores and regain a little bit of sanity. When I had to use the bathroom and Rei was especially clingy, it was Barney who came to the rescue. It was also Barney who kept her entertained so that Gian and I can get dressed and not be late for Church. Rei have had longer screen times than

I’ve been wanting to go on an out-of-town trip for a long time, but both Gian and I have been busy with work and raising a one-year old that we’ve put all of our out-of-town plans on the back burner for the past couple of months. Travelling with a baby is just a lot harder to plan, so we wanted to wait until she is old enough to walk on her own. The perfect opportunity came just after her 1st birthday when I learned that Liz, a BYUH friend, was coming to Manila for a visit. I was so excited and I immediately started planning a day trip to Tagaytay. It was the perfect destination because it’s only a few hours away from Manila, but it’s far enough to get away from the busyness of the Metro. Transportation: One of our biggest consideration was how to get to Tagaytay from Quezon City with the least amount of stress as possible. I read blogs of how others planned their trip and after much thought we decided to go by private car. Since we don’t own a car and both Gian and I d

I watched in fascination as my daughter grew and reached her milestones month after month. Rolling over, sitting up, crawling, and then standing on her own - these were reminders that my little baby is not so little anymore. But, these changes didn’t come as a surprise. I expected them to happen. In fact, I waited in anticipation for each one. I read articles online on what is expected each month and I encouraged and cheered her on as she developed one skill after another. What I didn’t expect were the changes in me. I didn’t realize that as Rei reach each of her milestones, I would also reach mine. Let me give you an example. When my daughter doubled and tripled her body weight, my capacity to feel also increased. I never knew I was capable of feeling so much as a mother. I have felt an array of emotions ranging from extreme happiness to nerve-racking fear in the last 12 months than I ever did in my entire life. How? My heart learned what it’s like to experience pure joy when

I feel like I've put my husband on the sidelines ever since Rei was born, and it makes me feel guilty. I don't want him to ever feel like he has to compete with my daughter for my attention. But try as I might, I can't prevent it from happening. If there is anything I am guilty of, it would be my unrealistic notion of what my married life should be after having a baby. I have this idea that I should be able to do all my chores, care for Rei, finish my online job, and still look fresh and beautiful at the end of the day for my husband. We'll go on dates every weekend, hold hands at church, cuddle in bed, have long talks over dinner... (you get the picture). Well, that is not my reality. Gian comes home from work and I'm often still in bed, tired from nursing a crying baby all night. With no time to shower, I prepare breakfast, clean up, feed Rei and then its time for her nap. The kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes, clothes need to be folded, and I still h

Society has created very unrealistic views about turning 30. It's perceived as the "prime" of one's life (although there's a lot of debate about this) and people somehow expect that you have accomplished a majority of the things on your bucket list at this age or that you have gained a certain level of success that was lacking in your 20s. Well, I just turned 30 and I feel exactly the same as I did yesterday. There was no "magical transformation" when the clock struck 12. And though I would have loved a dramatic makeover overnight, I didn't expect one to happen because I learned that age does not change a person, experience does. Question: Am I living the life I expected at 30? Hahaha! Not even close. At 30... I am 10kgs heavier than my ideal weight. I am nowhere near starting a Master's Degree. I don't get to travel as often as I would want to. I have not used my teaching license. I am still not successful in sleep training my daughter.

The reality of motherhood. If my daughter was a deep sleeper like Aurora, I would be the most well-rested mom on earth. Unfortunately, Rei is the antithesis of deep sleep. Recently, she has decided to start her day at 5am. I try different ways to extend her sleep, but she has definitely made up her mind to wake up just before the sun rises. Oh well... It's the start of another day. The moment Gian comes home from work, we start our morning routine. I prepare breakfast, he plays with Rei. She naps, we eat. He bathes her, I do the dishes. I feed her, he does the laundry. And the list goes on. The goal is to finish all our chores before Gian goes to bed and before I have to start work. I look at the clock and it's already 11am. As I stare at the messy floor and the clothes that need to be folded, I wonder how other moms do it. I ponder long and hard, then I realize my biggest mistake... I've been waking up each day thinking that everything will go according